SAHM

I recently turned 26, although it may not be that old I started to reflect and think about what my passed thoughts were of the future, now the present. I remember in high school I wanted to take a year off of school before going into college. I either wanted to study interior design, political science, philosophy, linguistics, or the history of literature. If I wasn't going to be an interior designer I was going to learn then teach either one of the ladder.
The one year off turned out to be seven going on eight years and I have no regrets. I moved to Colorado with a friend to snowboard and be in the mountains and met a boy, one that I now call "my man". Although I tried to play my feelings for him off they didn't leave me alone and neither did he. Almost seven years later we are married, have two boys and own a house. I never made it back to school, but that doesn't mean I'm not learning or "educated". I am what you call a SAHM, Stay At Home Mom, by choice. I'm not one to believe that the womens roll is to stay at home and take care of the kids the cooking and the cleaning, my husband is not chauvinistic, and I'm anything but lazy. I simply stay at home because I want to. I want to raise my kids. I can teach them all kinds of philosophy's so they can be well rounded individuals. Every day my 7 month old forms sounds that will soon connect and start to sound like the English language and in the mean time I can teach him simple signs to communicate. I can stay involved in current politics that can make an impact on my family now or my children's future, I can even demonstrate social awareness so my kids don't have to grow up apathetic. My hope is to instill the love of reading to my kids, I've started by reading to them every day and taking them to the library. Sure the seven month old and the 3 year old are still learning the importance of being quiet in the library but one day they will be doing research, studying and maybe even contributing to the book collection.
I love owning a home (most of the time). I love the style of the era my house was built, 1920. My house is an American bungalow. It has a lazy front porch, recently restored hardwood floors, outstanding frame work around the windows and doorways, and several other "charms". It is and has been a perfect canvas to express my interior design "skill". I never realized how great toy dump trucks look under coffee tables, or how awesome hot wheel cars look between couch cushions until recently.
I love being a stay at home I never would have dreamed living this life up. Life has not taken me on a far detour from what I had "planned" but it has taken me on the scenic route. My job as a stay at home mom is trying, its difficult and challenging. Everyday I am forced to react in situations that are instantly thrown at me, I have to do whats best for my family whether its convenient for me or not. I consider it a real job, and I have not lost my self identity. I feel that my children are more worth my time right now than any drab house, company or school.
I know that not every mom is able to or desires to be a stay at home mom and I totally respect and get that. I in no way feel I'm better than working moms, I actually feel that most working moms are BAD ASS. Single moms put me in awe, I cant even imagine the balancing act or patience one must have to be a single mom. They (or you depending on who reads this) are up there on my hero's list. I just appreciate the opportunity I have to stay at home and I plan to take advantage of that opportunity as long as I can.

Married on a Monday

Yesterday my husband and I celebrated our fifth wedding anniversary. Like past anniversary's we looked back and reflected on not only the years we spent married but the years we knew each other before we were married. Every year we come to the conclusion that marriage is not easy but its not hard when you know you love someone and are confident in the commitment you have made each other.
Jesse and I met doing something and being somewhere we both love. We met in the mountains at the beginning of ski season. We met, dated, fell in love, moved in together, got married, started a family, bought a house, and now we are five years into our marriage.
You can't be selfish when you want, want to be in, or are in a committed relationship. You have to be willing to compromise every now and then because you are two people that have some of same interests, dreams, and ambitions but at the same time you are still both individuals with your own brains and thoughts. Your job is not to train the other person or to change the other person. When you fall in love your not falling in love with how great the sex was, or how great the places are you go to on dates and how great it would be to finally stop looking for someone so you settle. I think you have to fall in love with who that person is, what his/her interests are, what fun you had when you were on that date and accept most if not everything of who that person is and totally appreciate all those qualities, if it was great sex it will remain great sex for a long time because you will be able to appreciate that person and it won't ever get routine.
The year Jesse and I got married started out great, then things got rough once the ski season was over. The period (in most mountain resort towns) between winter and summer is called the off season, its too messy for visitors to ski or hike so the town "shuts down" for awhile. Well when the town shuts down so do the jobs, and when your not working your not making money and you need money for rent and food. Needless to say we had to move away because too many of the off seasons had set us back too far financially.
My parents offered for me to go home and I was willing to, but it killed me to leave Jesse. I told him and it killed Jesse to see me go so he went with me. Jesse's whole life at that point was snow boarding, and the mountains. He carved out and maintained hiking trails in the summer and was out riding everyday in the winter. His love was the mountain. Not to mention that is where he grew up and where all his family and friends were. For him to pack up his life (San Juan Mountains) and head to the flat lands ( Lincoln, NE) was a pretty amazing display of love.
We were busy painting my parents house and then my dad was offered a job overseas in Iraq. I didn't think dad should go for several reasons but he had to. Marriage to me at the point was kind of the last thing on my mind. I love Jesse but at the same time I was thinking it would happen later in our life and we could have the wedding of MY dreams (which I still haven't figured out). But in my grandest wedding dreams my dad was always there, smiling, watching me and knowing that I was committing my life with someone who loved me and wanted the best for me. So with those dreams and the thought of my dad possibly not coming back I asked Jesse if he was ready to get married. He didn't get back to me for a couple days and when he did, he asked me if I was ready, I paused and said yes. Then he told me that we should tie the knot before my dad left, nine days later we were walking through metal detectors on a Monday afternoon at the Lancaster Co. court house. My wedding was perfect. It cost less then $1000.00 but everything I ever wanted or needed was there.
Our whole marriage has not been perfect, we were faced with some rough patches but we hit them together and have gotten out of them together. We have learned that not everything life throws at you is desirable. We have learned that everyday you learn something and sometimes those lessons change your perspective and in a way changes who you were when you met or even got married. But a life in marriage is accepting those changes and still being able to appreciate that person through those changes. Appreciating that other person is thinking about them and yes sometimes putting their needs and feeling before yours.
I'm young, I got married when I was young but I can honestly say I knew exactly what was important in life then and I feel like I know whats important in life now. I have a husband whom I love very much and I know he loves me, I have two sons that I am falling in love with everyday. I have a wonderful family that I grew up with and a wonderful family that I married in to.
I know life is not always fair, and everyday there is some kind of pressure to accept that. I love my Jesse more than I did five years ago and anticipate on loving him more each year spent together. He is my partner, my best friend, the father of my boys, my lover and my husband.
So here's to getting married on a Monday!

food processor.

Well here it is, my very first blog post. Well I don't really know where to start so I'm just going to jump in and try to unscramble my thoughts while I post them. So lets start with what I was thinking while cleaning up my kitchen mess this morning after making a delicious loaf of tofu banana bread. I was thinking that I needed a bigger food processor. I was thinking that it was getting hard to process with my little teeny tiny sized food processor.
I cook vegan. My husband supports that decision and I totally appreciate it but I don't judge him if he wants to chow down on a brat once in awhile. I don't buy a whole lot of pre-processed foods because honestly its nasty, sure it tastes OK but in my opinion if you can't say it and if it sounds like it came from a science lab it probably did. It came out of science lab because the scientist are getting paid to find ways to preserve food, make "food" taste good with less, make "food" stretch farther while cutting costs. Oh yummy.
I like food that comes from organic crops/gardens or kitchens that use organic ingredients from nature. Which is just one of the reasons why planet preservation is important.
As far as meat goes, forget it. There really is not enough hydrochloric acids in human stomaches to break down all the meat our culture eats on a regular basis. And of course being the "bleeding heart" that I am there are ethical concerns. I really don't want to fill my belly up with pain and suffering and if you don't think cows, pigs, chickens, lambs, and goats feel pain in my opinion you probably should rethink having a pet. Industrial raised animals are not raised on friendly family farms, they are raised and fattened up by any means necessary. The more to a pen the merrier for the "farmer". I could go into this farther but I don't really want to. I don't volunteer for PETA and I am not an animal rights activist. I view that whole situation as something everyone needs to educate themselves on and make their own educated opinion. Me preaching is not going to change anybody's mind. If you think protein is an issue learn about amino acids, I'm getting more then the average person who relies on meat protein as their main source of protein.
I don't consume dairy but that doesn't mean I don't like the way it tastes. After nursing my babies the way nature intended, I got to thinking about cow milk. Milk from cows is high in fat because baby cows need to gain a ton of weight in their first year, that is the whole purpose cows produce milk. Drinking skim or 1% may help with thinning out the fat but then you are consuming a natural food that has been processed. OK your wondering about the whole calcium intake bs, yes its bs. Because animal proteins from meat and milk cause calcium loss. Vitamin A and D are added to milk, and it may or may not surprise you to learn that vitamin D is a steroid hormone. Its naturally occurring but when your buying milk that claims to be having steroid free but fortify s its milk with vitamin D your still getting a steroid. A steroid you can get naturally by a safe exposure to the sun. OK really I could go on about dairy but again its one of those things that you should educate your self on, especially if you think its healthful to consume it.
Eggs. If your squeamish when talking about the human female reproductive system but can eat an egg over easy, then wow, I don't know what to say. Just think about those for a sec.
I feel like I need to eat to stay well and healthy, so its important to me what I eat. I have learned through "research" and my husband that popping pills just masks the problem and temporarily makes it go away. Chances are you just need to drink more water and sleep. Hang overs are an obvious illustration, you spent all night poisoning your body and when you wake up its gonna hurt. If your eating shitty food you are slowly poisoning your body but your body will start telling you in more subtle ways such as feeling bloated, becoming constipated, having head aches, sharting in your underpants etc... Then down the line you might have some major health problems that seem to have come out no where, but chances are your body was telling you about its problems long before but you were just shutting it up with pills.
Im sure my beliefs are not very popular where I live because I live in the mid west and many people earn their living by growing crops of Monsanto's and plumping up their livestock out here. But these are my beliefs so please don't take offense. I'm not preaching I'm sharing ideas and what I have learned.
Anyways, I don't really have a point to all this other than I need a bigger food processor and I felt like sharing why I need a bigger food processor.