Married on a Monday

Yesterday my husband and I celebrated our fifth wedding anniversary. Like past anniversary's we looked back and reflected on not only the years we spent married but the years we knew each other before we were married. Every year we come to the conclusion that marriage is not easy but its not hard when you know you love someone and are confident in the commitment you have made each other.
Jesse and I met doing something and being somewhere we both love. We met in the mountains at the beginning of ski season. We met, dated, fell in love, moved in together, got married, started a family, bought a house, and now we are five years into our marriage.
You can't be selfish when you want, want to be in, or are in a committed relationship. You have to be willing to compromise every now and then because you are two people that have some of same interests, dreams, and ambitions but at the same time you are still both individuals with your own brains and thoughts. Your job is not to train the other person or to change the other person. When you fall in love your not falling in love with how great the sex was, or how great the places are you go to on dates and how great it would be to finally stop looking for someone so you settle. I think you have to fall in love with who that person is, what his/her interests are, what fun you had when you were on that date and accept most if not everything of who that person is and totally appreciate all those qualities, if it was great sex it will remain great sex for a long time because you will be able to appreciate that person and it won't ever get routine.
The year Jesse and I got married started out great, then things got rough once the ski season was over. The period (in most mountain resort towns) between winter and summer is called the off season, its too messy for visitors to ski or hike so the town "shuts down" for awhile. Well when the town shuts down so do the jobs, and when your not working your not making money and you need money for rent and food. Needless to say we had to move away because too many of the off seasons had set us back too far financially.
My parents offered for me to go home and I was willing to, but it killed me to leave Jesse. I told him and it killed Jesse to see me go so he went with me. Jesse's whole life at that point was snow boarding, and the mountains. He carved out and maintained hiking trails in the summer and was out riding everyday in the winter. His love was the mountain. Not to mention that is where he grew up and where all his family and friends were. For him to pack up his life (San Juan Mountains) and head to the flat lands ( Lincoln, NE) was a pretty amazing display of love.
We were busy painting my parents house and then my dad was offered a job overseas in Iraq. I didn't think dad should go for several reasons but he had to. Marriage to me at the point was kind of the last thing on my mind. I love Jesse but at the same time I was thinking it would happen later in our life and we could have the wedding of MY dreams (which I still haven't figured out). But in my grandest wedding dreams my dad was always there, smiling, watching me and knowing that I was committing my life with someone who loved me and wanted the best for me. So with those dreams and the thought of my dad possibly not coming back I asked Jesse if he was ready to get married. He didn't get back to me for a couple days and when he did, he asked me if I was ready, I paused and said yes. Then he told me that we should tie the knot before my dad left, nine days later we were walking through metal detectors on a Monday afternoon at the Lancaster Co. court house. My wedding was perfect. It cost less then $1000.00 but everything I ever wanted or needed was there.
Our whole marriage has not been perfect, we were faced with some rough patches but we hit them together and have gotten out of them together. We have learned that not everything life throws at you is desirable. We have learned that everyday you learn something and sometimes those lessons change your perspective and in a way changes who you were when you met or even got married. But a life in marriage is accepting those changes and still being able to appreciate that person through those changes. Appreciating that other person is thinking about them and yes sometimes putting their needs and feeling before yours.
I'm young, I got married when I was young but I can honestly say I knew exactly what was important in life then and I feel like I know whats important in life now. I have a husband whom I love very much and I know he loves me, I have two sons that I am falling in love with everyday. I have a wonderful family that I grew up with and a wonderful family that I married in to.
I know life is not always fair, and everyday there is some kind of pressure to accept that. I love my Jesse more than I did five years ago and anticipate on loving him more each year spent together. He is my partner, my best friend, the father of my boys, my lover and my husband.
So here's to getting married on a Monday!